There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize