hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
