just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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