Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
