I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
