I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
