that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I can't turn off my feet"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
