Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
