Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
jump out the window naked night went bad
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
