have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
