hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize