Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I want her autograph on my taint
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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