yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
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