nut hugger
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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