i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
