I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
