Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
