your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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