Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
