Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
