He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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