You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize