Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize