his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
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