How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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