Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
