i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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