Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
