As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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