A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
