Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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