i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
