why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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