Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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