He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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