i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize