I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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