he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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