I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
