I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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