I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
