haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
