Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
