so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize