Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Me too!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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