Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
