Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
