party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
