I wish i was in the wii world.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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