i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize