Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
