Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I think my moral compass just broke
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
