What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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