she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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