and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
