Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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