Will you blow on my dice?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
