I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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