i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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