You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
