at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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