I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
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