Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
