Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
