oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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