they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
