Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
